Q: What did the zombie say before his fight? This collection features funny jokes about zombies for parents, teachers and kids. Non-zombie "zombie" news (re: banks, computers) will be deleted. At the time of submitting, this is probably the most comprehensive collection of zombie baby jokes … Q: What kind of streets do zombies like best? Hey those aren't real balls?! In deserts, all zombies exposed to the sky have an 80%‌[JE only] / 70%‌[BE only] chance to be replaced by husks, a zombie variant. Johnny B. A big list of zombies jokes! A: The Washington DEADskins! They’re good anytime – but especially around Halloween. Be sure to also check out the skeleton jokes to … I just wanted to come here to announce my zombie apocalypse novel, 21 Zed!!! Riddle: Why don't zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? What did the Zombie say after eating Albert Einstein? Last week after our little sister's wisdom teeth surgery, we convinced her that a zombie outbreak had hit our city. I found a computer in his gut and it's running Windows! Did you hear about the dyslexic zombie? He couldn't eat her. Q: When do zombies go to sleep? Zombie Jokes. They’re suspiciously hungry for brains, which makes you think maybe it’s time to avoid people with rotting flesh that are walking with a limp. Over the past few years, kids have been introduced to a world of zombies thanks go games like Plants vs. Zombies. A: To improve his BITE! Q: What is black, white & red all over? Every time I eat him, he turns into a bat in my stomach and comes out of my ASS! Answer: Like he was LIVING! Q: Where do zombies go swimming? Q: What does a zombie get when he comes home late for dinner? Q: What do little zombies play? … A: He wanted to EAT the chicken! Good brain food! A: If you put them down right you can walk all over them the rest of your life! The funniest sub on reddit. Halloween Jokes: Zombie Joke. Close. What did the Zombie say after eating Paul W.S. A: No, they EAT the FINGERS separately! Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! Zombie baby jokes are a relatively new genre of jokes (circa 2003), probably derived from dead baby jokes. Zombies that are not husks have a 5% chance to spawn as a zombie villagerwhile all zombie variants also have a … Q: What do you call a deer that lost it’s eyes in a zombie attack? What did the Zombie say after eating Michael Jackson? Boy that guy sure made me LAUGH BEFORE I ATE HIM. A: When they are dead tired. A big list of zombie jokes! What did the Zombie say after eating Steven Job? What did the Zombie say after eating Quentin Tarantino? Q: What did the zombie's friend say when introduced to his new girlfriend? Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! What did the Zombie say after eating George Romero? Members. What did the Zombie say after Eating Bruce Willis? 47 of them, in fact! COMMENT. Q: What does it take to become a zombie? What did the Zombie have after eating Wes Craven? A: This tastes FUNNY! Q: Did you hear about the big zombie party? Young readers will have a blast sharing this revised collection of zombie and Halloween jokes with their friends and family! Share this laugh and make a friend chuckle! Have a nice day. Nightmares the rest of his life about Freddy Krueger. Press J to jump to the feed. Funny Jokester has the funniest New Jokes and Halloween Jokes! Q: Do zombies eat dinner with their family? A: No, their family IS the dinner! A: A zombie LEAVING the PET STORE! I'll be back! Boy this guy has some BIG JAWS! Q: Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road? What did the Zombie say after eating Sylvester Stallone? Old and new zombie jokes!!! Boy that meat sure was tough and rocky! What did the Zombie say after eating Cristiano Ronaldo? As evidenced by the following zombie jokes, which I made up (despite my wife declaring that I didn't) and which I wouldn't make if I were dead, would I?Q: Why didn't the zombie move forward with his lawsuit?A: Because he didn't have a leg to stand on!Q: Why should you never… Laughing provides children ages 6-10 many hours of fun and laughter with his hilarious and silly jokes. Cuz you'll never take them alive. A: With SCARE spray! A: The tame way! Did you hear about the dyslexic zombie? How did the zombie treat every day of death? Q: Why did the zombie go crazy? Show Answer Hide Answer . A: The LIVING room! Q: How are zombies like computers? Q: How do zombies keep their hair in place? A: FrostBITE! Q: Did you hear about the zombie who tortured his victims with music? Q: What did one zombie say to the other zombie while eating a comedian? The Ultimate List Of Zombie Jokes, Puns & One-Liners June 06, 2018 6:00 AM The funniest and best jokes about zombies, plus zombie apocalypse one-liners and the finest undead puns. SHARE. Q: How do zombies serve their country? A: A nun being EATEN by zombies! What did the Zombie say after eating Count Dracula? That was the nicest looking piece of meat I ever ate! Boy this guy sure DIED HARD. A: CORPSES & Robbers! Hmm...I think I go after some small boys next. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! ! You know there's a reason why he's called Messi, he hadn't changed his shorts in a long time and I had to tolerate a lot of STINK while eating him. What did the Zombie say after eating Jim Carrey? Q: What is black, white & dead all over? Good brain food! What did the Zombie say after eating Angelina Jolie? What did the Zombie say after half-eating Arnold Schwarzenegger? Reddit Is Sharing Their Best Jokes, Here Are 17 Really Funny Ones. VOTE. Q: Where do zombies go on cruises? Q: What do you do if you see a zombie? What did the Zombie say after eating Steven Spielberg? Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! Zombie Jokes! Q: Who won the zombie war? A: His BACH was worse than his bite! A: Hope it's HALLOWEEN! I can't think of any good zombie jokes lately. What did the Zombie say after eating Whoopi Goldberg? Posted by 3 days ago. We have created the biggest list of Zombie jokes we could find on the internet. Press J to jump to the feed. Q: Why did the zombie stop teaching? A: He had LOST his mind. Zombie Jokes. A: They use megaBITES! Yum Yum! A: GRAAAINS...more GRAAAAAAINS! I must've gone *braindead* or something. These are the best zombie jokes about the undead! She was too UGLY even for his liking - the Zombie ran away screaming. A: Where the heck did you DIG her UP from? What did the Zombie say after eating Sharon Stone. Q: Why did the zombie go to the orthodontist? Zombie Jokes The year is 2048, a strange virus has overtaken most of the population. What did the Zombie say after eating Albert Einstein? There always seems to be only three stages to a zombie outbreak: Patient zero becoming infected, the city being overrun by riots either from angry humans or hungry zombies, and the city being completely deserted, the latter of which is pretty much all you see. Top 25 zombie movies of all time. The funniest sub on reddit. If you have doubts, or are just wondering whether your nascent question has been ridden into the ground already, check out our FAQ. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! Q: Why did the dyslexic zombie starve to death? Q: What is a zombie's favorite mode of transportation? 49 of them, in fact! A big list of apocalypse jokes! Yuck! He took his place delivering presents, but eating the recipients. Zombie Jokes. /r/Zombies' raison de la mort is to host submissions regarding gatherings, movies, books, music, theater, speculative science, and games featuring the flesh (and/or brain) eating dead. The FORCE was not with him, but the FART was! The funniest jokes about zombies! People thought he had a brain, but all I got was PULP FICTION! Though it itself has a few nods back to Cronenbergs debut Shivers, Night of the Creeps references pop in to nearly everything. Funny zombie jokes for Halloween. Full disclosure: These jokes may or may not have come from dads. Why can zombies never be arrested. A: Do you want a PIECE of me? Q: How do zombies tell their future? Funny Zombie Jokes. Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a zombie? What did the Zombie say after eating Lionel Messi? A: DEAD end! Answer: They’re Already Out of Breath! I think I just ate some skank. Funny Zombie jokes will have you laughing and rolling your eyes rather than giving you the creeps or being too gory for some people … although the undead and decaying body parts will not give anyone warm fuzzy feelings. You have been warned! Q: Where is the safest place in your home from a zombie? He was the APPLE of my eye. Menu. 18.9m. A: He's DEAD on his feet! Yum Yum! In my personal opinion, the actual outbreak itself is often the most underrated and skipped over part of zombie fiction. Back to: People Jokes. r/CODZombies: Call of Duty Zombies is a first-person shooter survival mode developed by Treyarch, Infinity Ward, Sledgehammer Games, and Raven … Q: Why did the zombie ignore all his Facebook friends? ... A zombie apocalypse had enveloped the earth. Looking for zombie jokes because You don’t want to be the person that everyone thinks has no sense of humour. Why Is It So Hard For Zombies To Exercise? Answer: Because they prefer to eat their fingers separately. In Categories Funny Riddles; Jokes and Riddles; Zombie Jokes … What did the Zombie say after eating Bill Gates? A: The DEADiterranean Sea! Zombie Jokes And Riddles. 19.6m. A: A shot of To-KILL-Ya(Tequila)! The funniest sub on reddit. If you aren’t a fan of Zombie jokes, you might want to click the back button now. Thats like eating a DOUBLE-DECKER SANDWICH. Funny Zombie Jokes, Funny Zombie Puns, Funny Zombie Humor. A: A zombie in a TUXEDO! Q: How do you catch a tame zombie? Funny Zombie Jokes and Tons of Halloween Jokes at Funny Jokester. All the best drop dead zombie one liners and zombie humor that will make you green with laughter. A: SCARE-O-PLANES! 94 of them, in fact! Q: Why did the zombie cross the road? A: It was DEAD & full of STIFFS! Q: What do zombies order at bars? I wish CNN was recording this LIVE! ... You have to balance just the right degree of self-aware smugness, whilst still delivering a film that is more then in jokes and nods. Hey I don't bite-off the hands of the one that feeds me! Q: What do vegetarian zombies crave? What did the Zombie say after eating Ted Turner. Yum! Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! Anderson and Milla Jovovich? A: With their HORRORscope! Some of this Zombie Jokes may be cheesy, but that wont matter when you are dead! Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I can't exactly tell you when it's going to be released, but stay tuned, just in case!!! Hey guys Looking for a new series to start on audible. Q: What has a dog's head, a cat's tail & brains all over its face? Q: What is a zombie's favorite football team? Imagine making everyone laugh so hard that they are … I am not dead. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. What did the Zombie do after eating Santa Clause? Apocalypse Jokes. Funny and Hilarious Zombie Jokes and Riddles for Kids. ... —Paz_Zombie. 133. A: Nobody, it was a DEAD tie! Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! If you’re looking for zombie jokes, then we have you covered. Featuring NEW Zombie Jokes with Hidden Answers! A: He was still DIGESTING all of his followers on Twitter! Look every body! In the Overworld, zombies spawn in groups of 4 at a lightlevel of 7 or less. A: DEADication! What did the Zombie say after eating George Lucas? A: No eye deer! A: In the Marine CORPSE! r/Jokes: The funniest sub on reddit. Q: What do zombies and tile have in common? We use cookies on our websites for a number of purposes, including analytics and performance, functionality and advertising. A: The DEAD Sea! What did the Zombie say after eating Sharon Stone. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Hey there, dudes and dudettes of Reddit!!! A: He only had one PUPIL. A: The cold SHOULDER! Q: Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? A: He couldn't find any SNIAAARB! A: He had LOST his GUTS! They are in the glorious tradition of knock knock jokes, Yo momma jokes and, of course, dead baby jokes. What the f**K are they??? Q: How do you know a zombie is tired?